Monday, January 14, 2013

Above Earth's Lamentation

My life flows on, in endless song,
 above Earth's lamentation/
I hear the real though far off hymn that hails a new creation.

No storm can shake my inmost calm,
while to that rock I'm clinging/
It sounds an echo in my soul,
How can I keep from singing?

I had the great opportunity to see John McCutcheon perform this past weekend at Freight and Salvage.  He sang and played this song on auto harp with tender care and respect.  I was transported back to my Women's Choir days at Capital University, so I imagined soft voices of women behind his strong yet quiet tones.

I imagined my hands, stretched out into the dark night sky, ready to reach the song above the groans of pain in this world.  I felt my soul reaching towards the infinite; the sea of love that flows above anything that I or anyone struggles with in this world.

I remember the days of dark in the first days after my high school choir group's bus accident during my senior year.  The lyrics that calmed me were of a song we had sung earlier that year:

Have courage my soul, and let us journey on,
For the night is dark, and I am far from home.
Thanks be to God, the morning light appears.
The Storm is passing over, Hallelujah.

No storm can shake me.  Even if it does, it will pass.

What storm is brewing in my life right now?  It's not a great, big churning storm that shakes my bones or rips things apart.  It's a quiet, subtle storm of change and realizations that shifts my sense of self enough each day that it feels uncomfortable.  I have opinions and many visions of where I want to be, who I want to be, and the journey ahead.  Yet I falter and find myself unclear about how to be the change I want to see in this world.  On two unsteady feet, I forget to speak out and voice the unique perspective I have.  Goal for this semester: SPEAK. VOICE OUT.  I'm pretty good at the learning aspect of this seminary experience, but the time has come to take action and contextualize what I learn into my own voice.  I'm ready to tear out of this ego that strives for perfection before speaking and just speak. Is this terrifying? Yes. Am I ready? Ha. I will have to be. :)

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