I found myself asking this question while driving around my beloved hometown this morning. What was I thinking? I left a fulfilling job that I loved, my boyfriend, and amazing support systems in Ohio. Tomorrow, I'm leaving my hometown, my family, and wonderful friend groups behind. I'm leaving to go somewhere I've never lived to be surrounded by people that I have never met. I'm going out into the unknown. The part of me that is scared of this whole new frontier asks, "Why?"
I'm quite glad that I have a clear answer for this. One of my best friends from high school met with me last night and we discussed the turning points that are happening in our lives. She mentioned a quote she had heard that struck a chord with me: "The worst enemy of the best is not the worst, but the good." When life is good, it is easy to feel content and happy with your life.
The goodness of my lives that I lived in Columbus and Fort Collins make it seem so easy to drift back into the patterns full of happiness that I have been a part of these past years. God does not want me to be in the path of a good life. God wants the absolute best out of me, not necessarily for me but for all of the people that I will be able to help grow in their spiritual journey. The greatest threat to me is my own comfort zone. I am scared for this next step of life but I know that the outcome will be better than anything I can imagine at this point. It's funny to feel quite nervous about this even though I feel positive that this is what I am supposed to be doing. I am grateful to have people supporting me and reassuring me that this is exactly what I am meant to do.
I am humbled to be the first recipient of the Hayes Memorial Scholarship from Bethlehem Evangelical Lutheran Church in Los Alamos, NM! God is working through many people to show me how amazing it is that I am going to seminary to follow my call to ministry.
One more day until Roadtrip Part Deuce begins!
3 more days until I live in Berkeley.
5 more days until I turn 23 and take my first summer Greek class! On the joy....
Fort Collins has been absolutely amazing this past week. It was a delight to show Jillien around FoCo and witness her eyes filled with wonder at the mountains, the wildlife, and the general awesomeness that is Colorado. She would make fun of me every time I said, "Wow the smokey haze makes it hard to see the mountains today." Her response was to stare at me and say, "Colorado problems." Oh how I adore Jillien because of the wit and intellect she adds to my life. :)
We took a haunting trip up to some of the burn area in the Poudre Canyon. The brevity of this fire keeps all of the Fort Collins folk abuzz on how many people and animals that have been affected. The barren mountains, covered in black, stab at all of our hearts; the rivers run black and cover the river rocks with a layer of soot.
I am thankful for the firefighters' neverending motivation to keep this fire from spreading and I pray for all of the living things that are trying to feel normal after having their homes/habitats destroyed. Keep Sky Ranch in your prayers as they continue camp this week and manage to steer the bears away from camp!